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I have been close companions for over two decades, who has overcome numerous hardships, her resilience is commendable. But, she has been often caught off guard by others. Her partner left her, which came as a huge shock. A lot of her social circle disappeared then, since they had been drawn to the spouse. This surprised her deeply. She made greater energy in our friendship, likely realised more clearly what friendship was.

Ongoing Issues In Relationships

Over the years, several of her friends have disappeared without her being certain of the reason. Her previous job suddenly changed toward her, even though she had been an excellent employee, and she left not understanding the reason for the change.

How Things Stand Now

Recently, we have each left the workforce leading to more time together, but I am finding the part I play between us feels one-sided. I introduce discussion points and she changes them to things she cares about. In terms of politics, she expresses strong opinions. I try to recommend factchecking or other angles.

She has been organizing a holiday to a country I have traveled to many times and lived in previously. I tried to provide advice, yet it was not welcomed. She purely only wanted validation of her choices. I have ended a month there and she wants to reconnect, yet I'm reluctant.

Evaluating the Situation

I am unwilling to be a friend that walks away without a word, but I don't think she will ever understand the impact of her behaviour on how I feel about myself. Right now, I find myself in distancing myself. How should I proceed?

Potential Solutions

You could cut and run, but it is not often a smooth outcome that we desire. But confrontation with a view to a solution takes courage and willingness for each of you.

Professional advice indicates using a practical approach to handling disagreements:

"The first step requires explaining how things go in your conversations. This needs to be objective and clear and basically an unbiased account. Next is to express her how it leaves you feeling. Ideally, there's no disagreement about this. Emotions are valid, of course. Step three is to ask ways you together will alter the dynamics of your friendship."

Keep in mind your friend holds perspectives, thus requiring you to be prepared to acknowledge it. One effective method is telling her:

"It's your turn to speak and I promise to remain silent for half an hour."

It's wildly successful in fostering understanding.

Key Takeaways

Your friend may dismiss your concerns, as some people have a “survival narrative”: they have a story about themselves they won't let go of because their very survival is tied to it and it represents they trust. It's tough as there is no thoroughfare in such cases, only cul-de-sacs. But she may start out like this before reflecting your perspective. And should you don't achieve an agreement, it provides peace that you've been open and direct.